In Case of Hooks, Part 9: "Hooks Begins"
If your own story is being rebooted, tell the hook-handed hobo to hide behind a trashcan.
If hook-handed hobo is hiding behind a trashcan, you may be approached by two handless boys searching for a back-alley hospital.
If this is a reboot, they are probably younger and darker/edgier than you and your friend were.
If the younger/darker/edgier version of you is frightened by your hook hands, he may begin climbing the wall to escape.
If he begins climbing the wall, use your own hook-hands to give chase.
If this is a reboot, the updated version of the wall-chase will probably involve a lot of parkour and jumping from building to building.
If you're too old and tired for parkour, just rocket-hook the reboot-you and confront him on the ground.
If reboot-you and reboot-friend are on the ground, give them money and direct them to a real hospital so that they won't suffer your fate.
In case of a more realistic reboot, the mad scientist will be reimagined as a prosthetic surgeon at the hospital.
If more relevancy is desired, mad surgeon can also have a government contract to research the creation of hook-handed super-soldiers.
If reboot-you and reboot-friend arrive at the hospital, you need to get there to stop the mad surgeon from experimenting on them.
If you’re not supposed to be in this remake, there may be soldiers guarding the hospital and searching for you.
If your hook-hands are a dead giveaway, put on some oven-mitts as a disguise.
If that’s not enough of a disguise, wear a fake mustache.
If you already had a mustache, wear a fake lack-of-mustache instead.
If your disguise is good enough, sneak into the hospital and locate the operating room before your fake mustache falls off.
If the fake mustache is itchy, you can take it off now.
If you find reboot-you and reboot-friend, tell them that you’re here to rescue them before they’re turned into rocket-hook-handed monsters.
If they remind you that this a reboot, realize that rocket-hook-handed monsters would have been too science-fictiony anyway.
If you're still in the hospital for some reason after having 3 full days to escape, prepare for soldiers to attack.
If soldiers attack, begin this reboot's first fight scene, which will probably involve lots of slow-motion —> fast-motion —> slow-motion.
If you seem to be losing the fight, it's probably because you're still wearing oven-mitts.
If you're having trouble using your oven-mitts to take off your oven-mitts, ask reboot-you to help.
If he has trouble using his hook-hands to take off your oven-mitts, you'll just have to keep fighting with oven-mitts.
If you have to fight with oven-mitts, at least use them to your advantage and pick up something hot as a weapon.
If you need something hot and dangerous, go to the hospital cafeteria and grab a waffle-iron.
If you win the fight, celebrate with some delicious waffles.